I take a lot of selfies every day; most get deleted almost immediately, some I salivate for a few days and then dump , simply to make way for more selfies of the future. And then the rest are let loose on friends. Just-like-that. Which is exactly how selfies should be treated.
By now, I know a few things about myself, that outdoor pics are the best , the natural light makes everyone shine genuinely. Big sunglasses are a must have when I want to cover up the dark circles. My left profile turns out so much better.
What I don’t however do is pout – No, not because it is the indecent thing to do and it isn’t even because I don’t know how. It is because I don’t know what to do with one’s eyes when one pouts. Like when social media celebs pout, I look at their eyes ; others can ogle at their lips. I want to master the eye-look. But since, I get no lessons from that, I decided as well, try a few eye-stunts at home, before the selfisation starts.
In my mind, a pout is a come-hither. So, I tried my come-hither eye-look on the hubby when I wanted him – as always – to wash the dishes. This is how it went:
“Hey!”
“Kide?” (What?)
“Just look”
“Where?” (Eyes not shifting from the paper and / or screen)
“Me. No, not me. My eyes.”
“Kidyak” (Why?)
“Just look. You will understand.”
He looked. “Ok. Aata?” (Now?)
“My eyes are giving you the look.” I had to finally tell him because the dishes had been sitting now a whole evening. “Y’know, the come-hither look. As in come-hither and wash the dishes.”
“Can’t you just say it? What look and eyes and all that? And anyway, I can’t. I am doing something.”
I was so angry. So, I said, “Well, you better. I am not doing the washing.” My voice conveyed my anger.
And the husband actually, now, looked at me. “ God, your eyes are so angry. And you are pouting.”
That actually wasn’t the pout – that was my angry look. Looks like, I better not pout and just altogether forget about the eyes. My friends will have to be happy with my regular selfies. Rather sad for them, must say!